feeLing so mOody theSe few days..

duNno y..

maybe i betul2 ambiL hati wif wat he sAy..

eveN he say he juz ask n never thinking tO make it reality..

aM i the oNe who thInking too mucH???

hurm..

for the 1st time in my Life..

sum1 tat can be caLLed stranger knws wat in my heart..

dunno y i senang share my feeLings wif him..

in fact..

we juz knw in faCebook..

n he far frm here..

saRawak..

everytime chat wif him i feel so reLief..

but tat doesnt mean i in Love wif him..

i juz anggap he Like my bro..

i do got a reaL bro..

but his thinking is not same wif me..

tis person tat i juz got to knw is satu kepaLa wif me..

i wish aLL person tat i Love in my Life can be Like him..

knw about wat i feeL..

n do care about me..

OUT OF CONTROL

now at home wif my mum n son. .

juz 3 of us. .

wish nothing bad happen to us. .

my hubby at sukau n sleep at thre. .

dunno why. .

lately i see he more like sleep at there than his own home. .

or mybe it juz my feeling. .

u knw la pregnant woman. .

but a few days ago he did ask me sumthng tat make me feel uneasy. .

he did ask me about if he wan to getting married again. .

i give him my permission o not. .

coz if he wan to take another wife. .

need me to sign the paper. .

when he ask like tat. .

make me thinking about tat until now. .

he do say to me tat he juz ask n not mention it. .

but who knws. .

men cnt be trusted now. .

hmmm. .suddenly got headache. .argh!!!!

dunno wats going on wif my life now. .

everything miserable. .

oh GOD. .

please HELP ME!!!

~congrats~

~tue~6.41 a.m.~~~

congrats to my dearest sis coz oredy give birth on 18.12.2010. .

hurmmm. .

she become a mum oredy. .

n me??

still not give birth yet. .

dunno when. .

nevermind. .

as long as me n my baby will be save. .

a lil' bit regrets rite now. .

coz i didn finish take my spm paper. .

there was 3 more paper left n i didn go oredy. .:(

it is because my kaki n betis become swallow. .

n make me susah mau jalan to yake my paper. .

its ok. .

can take it next time. .

need to take a shower now. .

coz need to see my bidan later. .

~~haPPy~~^-^. .

so happy right now. .can't wait for my son tomorrow. .hehe

~~~misssed him so much. .in these happy condition,still got a little bit worried. .until now my hubby still not back home from sukau..~~~

hmmmmm. .i wonder where he is right now. .

~sO moOdY~

so moody right now. .not alone but still feel lonely and dunno why i feel like that. .huh. .now at home with my mum. .my hubby??he just now go out to indah to celebrate his cousin birthday. .see that picture??you guys only can see his smiling face 100% if when with his friends. .hurm. .maybe its just my feeling. .u know when pregnant. .so many bad thinking come just to make u stress. .but i can't stop from thinking that he seem more happy be with his friends than me. .hurm. .such a moody story. .just now i called my bro in law. .he sad my son got fever. .maybe because of the weather or maybe he do thinking about me because this is his 1st time to far from me. .hope he will get better soon. .this wednesday i got paper perdagangan. .wish me luck k!!

my bad day. .

its been a week since my husband family took my son for a vacation. .damn miss my son so much. .all this while,we never been far like this. .a few days ago,i add my very best and trusted friend at facebook. .then we had a talk about my life. .and so many things. .i feel so relief when she said there is no wrong for my husband family took my son go to holiday. .as long as they know whats right and wrong for my son. .

~~~my friends understand about it. .but why my mother don't??. .she keep saying about it everytime she come to see me. .

hurm. .last night i was all alone at home. .i lie to my mum that my husband at here. .i know she will be angry if know the truth. .so dissappointed with my husband. .he know that i will be alone at home. .i cry all night because of his act to me. ..~~~until now he didn't back home. .maybe still at sukau and i dunno what he do at there. .his father said he don't have to sleep at there. .but i dunno why he want to sleep there. .hurm. .thinking of it will only make me stress. .

stop thinking and start think about my son. .damn miss him. .

right now i at home all alone. .so bored. .dunno what to do. .this situation make me missed my son so much. .he was not at here right now. .he was followed my husband family for a holiday. .damn missed him so much. .later need to cook something for my husband. .today i got pendidikan islam paper 1 and 2. .think i can passed for this paper. .but for my sejarah and math paper. .i don't think i can pass. .hurm. .:(. .i think next year need to take back spm for paper math and sejarah. .hahaha. .so there is 4 paper left. .hope i can do better for the next paper. .as for my pregnancy. .i think i'm gonna giving birth soon. .all the symptoms day by day clearly can be seen. .hmm. .but if can i hope only after i finish spm then i give birth for my 2nd child. .hehe. .i wonder what is my child gender. .i want to scan to see the gender. .but all people said don't have to scan. .let it be a suprises. .my mother in law really like girl. .but for my father in law. .he more like it if boy. .girl also he want. .argh!!suddenly got headache. .need to stop writing now. .

so long didn't touch my blog. .don have much time to wrote my blog. .so far my life got nothing changes. .evryday my life was up n down. .but now. .i started to accept evrything. .to me. .what goes around. .will come around. .my relationship wif my hubby quite ok now. .but my relationship wif my mum is still 50-50. .too many things happened. .about my lil' sis. .my bro. .my lil' bro. .my real mother. .my mum. .n so on. .its all happened in my fmly. .thinking of it will only give me headache. .hurm. .dunno wat to write on my blog. .too many story i have. .but for sure. .rite now i was sitting for spm. .hope i can do better on my exam. .i also can't wait for my 2nd baby. .dunno it is a boy or a girl. .don care wat it is. .as long me n my baby safe. .n i really hope i will only give birth after my spm is done. .hehehe. .so funny. .a pregnant mum is sitting for spm. .can't u imagine it??

problems2x. .

so Long din touch my bLog. .hurm. .dunno wat to rite on my bLog now. .so many thngs happened one by one. .n i din hv time to accept it one by one. .need to accept it aLL. . .hurm. .thinking of it make me got headache. .y must i'm the one who gonna through it. .??y others juz take it 4 granted??reaLLy dun understand wat they think. .so dissappointed wif my Lao gong. .he should understand me n at my side whn i needed him most. .aLL he do is enjoy wif his frenz every nite. .doesnt his frenz understand his status rite now??every nite caLL him n ask him out. .n Leave me aLone at home sumtimes. .so do my fmLy. .aLways taLk bad about me at my back. .reLLy dunno wat their probLems. .its not them who raised me. .its my Late father who did it. .n after he died. .i'm the one who struggLed 4 my Life. .at morning. .go to schooL. .then back frm schooL. .go to work untiL nite. .sumtimes i din have time to eat. .so. .y they must wan to taLk bad about me. .i never bother them if i'm needed something. .i get it on my own. .so stop taLking about me. .it onLy make me n my mum everyday quarreL. .hurm. .

bad Luck. .or gud Luck??

on 09.05.2010. .me n my aunty share money to ceLebrate mother's day. .hurm. .juz smaLL party. .but it was vaLuabLe for me. .hehehe. .me aLso become a mother aLready. .i do take some pic on that day. .but i dun remmber whre i kept the camera. .my Life??it is going not weLL. .juz in certain case. .this few days. .few month. .my reLationship wif my mum become ok La. .but there's a probLem wif my Lao gong. .doesn't changed at aLL. .aLways go out at nite. .n back home Late. .hurm. .i dunno wat to do wif him. .as Long as he dun do anything that make him regret. . .juz Let he enjoy wif his frenz. .coz soon. .he wiLL be transfered to sukau by his uncLe. .

tomorrow is mothers day. .dunno wat gift i gonna give my mum. .not got enough money to buy a gud present. .hmm. .y some ppl say money is not important. .??is it true money not important. .??but for me. .it is important. .coz wif money. .i need to buy all kind of things such as. .my baby needed. .my tuition fees. .give some money to my mum. .n also many things. .hmm. .it is up to the individual thinking. .hahhhh. .

hurm. .dunno wat to wrote on my blog rite now. .but my feeling so happy because me n my fmly get together watching sandakan fm finale last saturday. .hehehehe. .these are some photo i uploaded during the day. .

so happy together. .

but. .me also got a bit sad because my lao gong is transfered to sukau by his uncle. .only can meet him once a week. .but its ok la. .at least he less go out at night with his friends. .

hate this part

on 15.04.2010. .me n my hubby go to the hOspitaL to see the resuLt of my bLood test. .weLL nothing serious. .juz Lack of bLood. .we waiting so Long for our turn. .but the doctor ask me to on dIet. .hehe. .so. .need to slim down my weight. .so my hubby wiLL Love me more. .hahahaha. .so boring rite now. .need somebody to taLk to. .otherwise. .i wiLL become crazy Like heLL. .my stdy??ok Lorh. .juz need to do more exercise. .i must focus on my stdy. .dun wan think about others. .so. .wish me Luck. .cHaiyo-cHaiyo!!!

bLa. .bLa. .bLa. .

juz got back frm hospitaL. .coz yesteray whn i go to hospitaL for medichaL check-up. .de doctor ask me to come today to take my bLood. .Last nite at 10 p.m need to fasting Ler. .then wait two days to know de resuLt. .so worried rite now. .dunno wat to think. .at 15.042010. .need to bring aLong my Lao gOnG to de hospitaL. .my son is at my mum house now. .whn i teLL my husband my son go thre. .he dun wan o. .dunno wat to do now. .rite now he was angry aLready at me. .but my mum wan my son at thre sLeep for 1 weeks. .dis situation damn kiLL me a Lot. .fuhh. .dunno wat to do. .

hurm. .dah Lama x post anythIng. .busy sangat2. .bnyak bende nk kene buat. .skrg ni tgh smbung study baLik. .sbb kLu x smbung study. .naik giLa dbuatnya terperuk drmh jak. .tp. .dah smbung study ni pun msh Lg under stress. .stress dgn husband. .stress dgn fmLy on my side. .argh!!!!damn it!!!!!hate this Life. .y should i have to face dis kind of problem. .

thank god i stiLl got a reason to go on wif my Life. .my son. .my Life. .my everythIng. .